Resolutions for the Luv Gov et al.
By John Butwell
I never make New Year’s resolutions, already being perfect. And if you believe that, I’ve got a small lake in eastern Kentucky I’d like to build for you, once the Luv Gov finishes building his Civic Center palace in Pike County.
No, I’d rather make New Year’s resolutions for other people than myself. They’re no easier to keep, but you can’t get blamed for breaking them. Or perhaps my resolutions are more like prayers, addressed personally to each resolution recipient.
To the Luv Gov, Paul Patton:
Resolve to get sex addiction therapy along with your ex-presidential pal, William Jefferson Clinton. Maybe you could study Zen and find a mantra to hum for a while, since you’re not going to be busy running for the U.S. Senate anytime soon.
To Kentucky’s First Lady, Judi Patton:
No resolution. Just a framed copy of the “Serenity Prayer.”
To all of Kentucky’s political leaders, wherever you are:
Oops-looks like Gov. Patton has more to worry about than the lint in his bellybutton. He’s got to come up with megabucks quick or the state’s cupboard will be bare. And when Mother Hubbard gets into that kind of jam, her children go hungry.
The Luv Gov can’t let this happen. He’s actually a pretty decent fellow, I’ve noticed, even if he IS human-and he has a heart. I’m pretty sure he’ll come up with a tax reform package, and it will include a tax cut for the poor while adding some very affordable tax increases for the rich, who at least won’t miss any meals over it.
Or maybe he won’t do squat. A cigarette tax increase, casino gambling -both have been mentioned. Some bitter pills may have to be swallowed. But for every new teacher we can hire, for every working teacher we don’t fire, we’ll save having to hire one prison guard in years to come. That’s what education really brings-freedom from poverty and the lack of control which poverty gives over a person’s own life (the root cause of crime).
It only makes sense. The more people know, the better they can survive. Plus, education teaches cooperation.
So, state leaders-are you still with me? Wake up! My resolution for you is that you FIX the budget mess you’ve created-the Senate Republicans by playing politics with the budget and an eye on the 2003 governor’s race; Democrat Patton with an eye on Jim Bunning’s Senate seat in 2004.
Call him Zip-Lip Paul; he muttered the barest words of warning, even if he’s squawking it out now. Well, maybe he couldn’t predict the current “not a recession” which bears part of the blame for our state’s lost revenue, and the situation we’re in now. But FORGET the blame; nearly every state in the country is in this kind of shape. Let’s get some relief, which will ONLY come through cooperation.
Let’s stop hitting our own heads with a hammer because it feels so good when we stop. Let’s get into the top 10 states for education instead of the bottom tier. And I’m voting for the first gubernatorial candidate who says THAT!
Finally, to the Hatfields and McCoys: Drop your lawsuit over access to the Hatfield graveyard where the head McCoy is buried. Work something out. Your feud is over 100 years old; bury the HATCHET in that graveyard
