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BY GREG HUBBS
If we’re to believe the Mayan calendar, the end is nigh. It may be fire, it may be ice, or it could be Godzilla, it could be Oprah. Either way, on December 21st you may find yourself facing impending doom and if so, 
you’re going to look at those presents under the tree and wonder why you spent your money buying Aunt Lola a stand mixer instead of getting on a plane to watch this from a deck chair in Bugarach.
After that realization, you’re going to need a drink. If the end of the world’s going down, you’re going to want to feel fine. So, throw the keys out the door, make a pitcher of chocolate milk for the 21 and unders, then grab the cocktail shaker.
It might be tempting to head towards the liquor cabinet and start emptying bottles, but come on, you don’t want to go out like that, do you? Of course not. Instead, grab the champagne flutes and start shaking up this festive cocktail that will ensure Michael Stipe doesn’t have anything on you.
End of Times Elixir
1 oz vodka
1 oz cognac
1 oz Pimms
2 oz orange juice
Traditionally, Pimm’s would be mixed with lemonade and used as a refreshment while cruising down a British river in the summer. But, this herbal liqueur is also great for pulling out other flavors and adding depth to your drink. Cognac not only packs a punch, but it also gives you a sweet and warm hug that helps with whatever doom might befall.
Finally, get the vodka out of the freezer to add a little sharpness and grab the orange juice as a mixer since its acid and sweetness will play well with everything else. After giving that a shake with ice, pour it into a champagne flute to make it a party. The result, the perfect drink for the Apocalypse. And, if it’s all a hoax, at least you’ll have more room in the liquor cabinet.
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The End of the World Drinking Game to End All Days
Gather your loved ones — the ones you want to ride out the Apocalypse with — and designate a driver… just in case this whole prophecy thing turns out to be another millennium y2K fizzle.
Take a Drink:
anytime the ice runs low and someone has to make an apocalyptic SuperAmerica run.
But…Finish your Drink:
if the polar ice caps melt and begin flooding the streets outside your social gathering.
Take a Drink:
if your iPhone battery dies from social media overload.
But finish your drink:
if your iPhone (and everything else) dies in the wake of an earth-ending Electro Magnetic Pulse.
Take a drink:
if the anti-social guy from your office somehow skeeches his way in as a Plus One.
But finish your drink:
if CNN busts out the Anti-Christ chyron.
Take a drink:
anytime a guest sneezes.
But finish your drink:
if Fox News busts out the Biblical Plague chyron.
Take a drink:
anytime a guest asks for a light.
But finish your drink:
if a lake of fire advances.
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And if things work out? The world doesn’t end? We have you covered either way with this Holiday Cocktail and Dysfunctional Family Drinking Game.
